Can't cook!

You all want to know.

Do you think those guys are working for DSK ??

Did you ever try ass foot-fucking ??

...Rdpl needs it !

(your one liners belong under the poster)

મારા પર ગણતરી નથી.

The story of Pala's life.

Highly illogical.

MY NAME IS KHAN POSTER DESIGN IN 10 STEPS.

Hello everybody,

Today we will learn how to design a bad movie poster.
The poster design was inspired by a recent bollywood movie "My Name Is Khan".

Here is how the poster will look at the end of the tutorial. Now lets get started !!!



The Tutorial.

1. Create a new document with 1240 x 1748 pixels (A6 Paper size) with any background color.
We are going to use this image as the background for the poster. Download and re-size the image to fit the document size.



2. Perform filter>blur>gaussian blur (15 pixel) to the background image.
Then add a new layer on top of the background image. Set the layer color to #251c13, blending mode to overlay and opacity to 70%.



The design should look like this now.



3. Next we will add the character into the poster design.
I have used a boy on beach picture which was taken from here : http://www.sxc.hu/photo/1126889
Download the image, cut the background using lasso tool and load it in the poster design.
Place the character as positioned in the image below.



4. Clone the character image by tapping CTRL + J.
Rename the cloned layer as shadow. Apply the following effect to the shadow layer.





5. Apply edit>transform> distort layer and move the top center box on the re-size frame.
Refer the image for guideline. Then set the layer opacity to 45% and bring the shadow layer below the character layer (CTRL + [ ).

If you don't understand, improvise !



The image should look like this at this point.



6 .Next we are going to add text to the design.
Choose text tool (T) and type "MY NAME IS PALAH".
Set the font as Arial (BOLD) and the color to #0c0907 (MY NAME IS) and #de2523 (PALAH).
Apply the following blending options to the text.





7. Next, add a sub slogan "I'm a great poster designer...".
Set the font type to lucida handwriting and color #ffffff.



8. Create new layer and set the color to #3f2d1c. Reduce the layer opacity to 70%.
Or do whatever you want at this stage.



9. Add the text as shown in the image on top of the layer.
I have used SF Movie Poster Condensed Bold font type for the text.
The code for red color (#de2523) and white (#ffffff).



10. Lastly add the text on right hand side. The font used are Arial and the colors are#ffffff.



And voilà !
You've done a great movie poster thanks to your skills and my wise teaching.

Where's Eva La Rue ?

and 9 teeth !

bâtard !

So !goes a fishing this weekend

Should have shave my pussy

hop!nothing..................................
....................

wHorse than you think!

vs audience

Dildoman, batteries included. Caution: bend over before watching.

Trying to copy Chaplin since 1940.

@CHILI
I understand. You're totally excused.

But still.

I DON'T SEE THE MAIN PRODUCTS ON THAT POSTER !

Which are, in the right order ---

THE JAW DROPPING EVA LA RUE :


THE STUNNING VIRGINIA BRYANT :


AND, OF COURSE, THE FAMOUS SHEEBA ALAHANI :


Now we understand what the redundant brothers are looking for.

Let's laugh to death.

@Fireball

Look.

My pic is a genuine Eva La Rue pic.
I show you Eva naked and you show me Eva preparing herself for a gangbang.

We're even.

Another time.

@Fireball

My pic is definitely Eva La Rue NOT Tiziana Altieri !
It comes from The Iron Warrior ! I never claimed it was a pic taken from The Barbarians !

Here's your proof :



Don't fool the Palahniuk !

@zippe READ THE RULES BELOW !!!

Here is your complimentary evening best of.